Not part of the wall

Have you ever felt like what you are a part of was one solid structure? Mixed with strength, compassion, dependability, loyalty & support that the structure will hold up forever? I hoped, until I realized that each individual point in the structure sees itself as the entire wall. I so badly want it to be a strong and successful structure, but I am finding that the materials I am working with are crumbling beneath me. That what I thought once was a solid structure is no more then a mirage in the desert when thirst plays tricks on you. I fear the crumbling, I dread the fall but sometimes things have to crumble in order for new walls to be built. Perhaps by building a new structure understanding and goal for the new wall becomes clear. A commonality in ones heart and soul can shine through, perhaps the strength is in the knowledge from the fall and the new found respect that all pieces must have the same amount of strength, compassion, dependability, loyalty and support will prevail. I hope too be a part of this new wall.

Taken

No hugs and no kisses for my little misses. No high fives, no dances no silly girl prances. No night time bed stories with her in my lap, no rocking my baby girl or rubbing her back. No doing her hair or helping her get dressed, telling her I can't while she says "mama please yes?" No holding her hand or kissing an owie, no wiping her tears or playing a game, no writing her letters her numbers her name. It's what has been taken by the Swine Flu game.

I've cried and I've screamed and I have been very upset, it's negligent in best terms but helpless the next.

What's next you say, I'm not quite sure, it's not a procedure a policy or a cure. It's one persons journey on what's taken in time, and there's nothing that can pay for it's rhythm nor rhyme. I'll go back to the mainstream with the knowledge I learned, to look out for the monsters who don't care when you get burned.

Denied

Well it's Sunday and today I went to Urgent Care. I have been sick since Thursday and thought with some sleep I could kick this thing, but it is winning. With Insurance card in hand I walked right into Urgent Care to receive some greatly needed medical attention. I waited at the front desk, handed Betty my information and proceeded to hear, "I'm sorry, it's not showing you as an active member." Say what? Now most of you know the HUGE problems I have had with my greatly appreciated self insured agency in the last 5 years. So with that, Betty told me I could pay the $150.00 up front just for the visit not including any of the tests the might run OR I can go to the ER and the wait was only 5 hours. I have been coughing, sneezing, dizzy, sweaty and just all around feeling like crap, this was the gift given to me by working for 3 whole days last week while 3-4 others proceeded to come to work with Bronchitis. Thank you.... not only have you made me sick, today I cried.

Congratulations Health Care Insurance... you Rock!