Upgrade Time

I have been thinking a lot about my life lately. I think it maybe the fact I will soon be facing another pacemaker surgery and I always reflect when that comes around. It will be a constant factor in my life, it's gives me life in the most simplest terms. It's a pretty easy surgery in comparison to all I have had, however I am always a little nervous and it tends to bring back those same unwavering doubts. We are going to be changing my wires and the location this time which will allow me to not have interference, which I have had ... damn tower and also be able to do some tummy exercises which I have been unable to do since I was 10. The lower wire runs through my stomach muscle. SO with the upgrade, location, wires and all I am really excited about what I will be able to do. I know I will be a little more sore since any foreign object in your body always wants out, however a little meds and time and I will be up and ready to go. I am hoping Oct-Nov sometime, right now I am in the 3-6 mo window. They won't let me get too close since it's the only thing keeping me from 6 feet under... :)Till then each day I wake up is a good one... which you may have doubted by most of the content of my blog. But don't let my look on things fool ya into how happy I am about life... I hope you feel the same.

The Price You Pay

As we get older I think we really start to reflect on our life, and in those reflections we see the price we've paid. It may have been with our career, with our family or with a passion but one thing is for sure, balance there is not, sacrifice a lot of, decisions many, regrets, most likely. How do you change this in a society that is driven by a market of greed? I'm not sure but I have never been one for Title's or Labels but it sure seems to be that unreachable goal for a lot of people. They do it at the costs of their families, their well being and most of all the loss of their soul. Led by pattern rather than conciseness, drowned out of ones heart to swim in another ones pool. It is a trap, unassumingly decorated by options, benefits and the glimmer of promotion. Behind the beauty lies darkness, the nights at which you sit behind a screen and the sunrise and sunset have been missed. The loneliness only dissipated by co-workers, and who you are at the core has been identified through a number on a badge. If I could change the World, I would, but I have realized I can only change mine.

Can you change yours?

Drama Mama

Is it me or does everyone know someone that is this? I mean if creating your own victimization in life is what you are all about then just let me know up front, I will try and stay clear. It's so interesting to me that the people with the most drama... LOVE IT, if they can't tell you about something tragic or life altering that has happened to them then they have nothing else to say... Wow.... I hate to say this but Men, well straight men do not have this Drama Mama title. Sometimes I'd like to join their club and walk through life without telling someone it'll be OK, just hang in there. Sometimes I'd like to tune out.... LOL!

Anyhow, this is just another wonderful experience to tally on the wall of things not to be on my list, so if you ever think my Mama Drama is kicking in... kick me will ya:)

Later peeps!

Ni Hao

Am I the only one who thinks we need to start learning Chinese as our first language here in America? Now this by no means is dis-respect to China but it looks from this vantage point that we may have to start living in smaller homes and perhaps look at not having multiple children, unless of course you get signed on TLC and can make some money of the munchkins. The Economic state of this Country is still in flush mode and I have not seen the plunger anywhere. I know were trying to stop it from circling above with writing bad checks and all, but the interest alone is going to take the next few generations to even make a dent, and God forbid we start to see people working for FREE British Airways.... holy lord then were in real deep doo doo. I mean let's keep salaried employees working from home on the weekends and late at nights, but lets not go straight crazy! I have a call into the old White House, I want to know how to write a check that won't clear, I haven't heard back. I am also on the waiting list to get a good deal on a GM vehicle, but perhaps instead I'll buy stock in the ole gal, shit she's backed by the Government what could go wrong?

Considering my badge still gets me in the building at work so far so good, but I feel like I should be giving the old boss a high five everyday just to be working.... is this the new America?

Fact or Fiction

Where do I even begin on this one? The world is so full of crap it's hard to know where to step next without landing in it. I am learning pretty quickly over the last year or so that there really is no difference between fact or fiction, it's all perception. A persons view on what you are doing versus what is being done only speaks to their truth, and with that knowledge I am learning to master Faction... that's right I have even re-named it. It's my new Mantra.... wait it's my 1st Mantra... anyhow, I am thinking about printing it up on T-shirts and Bumper stickers and maybe even getting Oprah to put her stamp on it. Shit, she rules the world anyhow right? Any who... what I am saying is quit worrying about the high road when making decisions that are not life and death, the low road is just fine, it's a one way road so look out ahead, you may have to weave.... Don't forget the international peace sign, it's one finger and you can still talk on your cell at the same time. Hey, all the cool kids do it.

The Bush, The Baker and the Automobile Maker

Yee Haw... is that still OK to say when a Texan is not in office? I wonder if he's thinking about anything as he's cruising around in is Hummer on the ranch? I don't think Georgie has a Hybrid, unless it's something to put butter on I'm not sure he even knows they exists. Could that be why are Auto Industry is plummeting? Hmmmm me say 8 ball says "good chance." I like that Obama just calls them out, after of course he handed them a check... you know.... All in due time Dorothy, that Yellow Brick road had some cross streets. When are we going to have some drastic changes? How come we give money with NO contingencies? Duh, it's like welfare to the Octomom, except she's already a billionaire. How is this helping middle America if First Class America doesn't put down their cocktail and start to run a Business? I swear, someone's gonna get hurt badly and it's not going to be from the damn Swine Flu the media is hounding our brains with. It might start with a pig, but he's wearing an expensive suit. All I know is what's coming next, Summer and heighten gas prices all over again, a drought of course and hmmmmmm another car maker going out of business. A huge sale no one can afford but Bernie Madoff.. ohh.. but his money is a little tied up right now and a man with another suit is working on all of it.

Oy Vey

Do you mean what you say?

I've recently discovered that doing what you say your going to do surprises people. Does anyone else think that is CRAZY? I mean, it's the core of who you are as a person. If you don't follow through then what amount of meaning does anything you say hold? I was always brought up to be honest, forthcoming and to always do what I say I'm going to. In a way, it's shaped me to be a good person, but easily disappointed by a lot of people. I was also raised not to judge, so I continue doing me, and try not to take it to personal. I've learned at the age of 37 to not worry about what anyone else, says or does, just be true to who you are and all else will work out. I can tell you it's an easy way to define your circle people in this life, and so far it's worked out just fine:)

Conniving Convenience

Is it me or am I just one of the few that see right through Big Corporates Convenience's? For example, Gym's, classes, cafeteria, dry cleaning service, catered lunches/dinners. I think what we as your average American Worker sees is that The Corporate world really understands how busy our lives get and how they want to relieve some of those burdens by making things easier while we are at work. What I see is how the Corporate world wants us more at work. I mean, if we really just worked a 40 hr work week why couldn't you get all those things done? Fortune 500 Companies aren't successful because people go home after a 40 hour work week, they are successful on the back bone of your Average American Worker being so catered to they stay. For me it has to be different, I think America has it wrong and we are seeing is clear as day in these times. What do we work so hard for? Retirement or time? I think time, and no amount of money or conveniences can change my mind. So what do you do, let me tell you it's not easy. You come to work with the knowledge that you are just another employee, numbered and processed as payroll every other week, and you do not kid yourself of anything different. Separate the truth from the lies and your life will be clearer, and the guilt for living your life will no longer be based on Corporate Conniving.

The Stank Factor

Something smells... and it ain't pretty. I think its all the Bull Shit that is spewed constantly up in here. I thought the look on Big Business Leaders faces were just that of being snobs, but I am quickly realizing it is just the plain funk and disgust finally surfacing from the lies we've been told over the last couple decades.... and Hello Wall Street so nice of you to be the reflection of truth.

Now don't get me wrong... I LOVE America, I am just not a big fan of whose been leading it. I think the mattress that Government, Lobbyist & Big Business have been in has finally broken down, and someone forgot to flip it. Well, here we are the Tsunami of shit has hit us like a WWF Smack down, and I for one, don't like wearing tights. I'd like to see some leaders under the age of 40, you know why? Because they can hack into the truth and lay it all out to dry, cause once were done shoveling ourselves from the Stank Factor were going to all need to sit down together and see how this really happened.

Break out your rubber boots,and hang up those silk suits for it's "Manual" labor time and he's a white guy.

Are you connected?

It's funny how connected we have become through the Web, Chat, IM etc, but how connected are you to your friends and family? For our family we work hard to maintain this. We sit down for dinner almost every night, have quiet time together and still go to friends houses to play board/family games. I think what most people have lost by staying so connected with the world is a loss of their family connection. I don't see how the world is going to get better until we start turning off our phones, logging off the computer and re-connecting with people face to face. It seems that we are showing our children that relationships only exist electronically, and the emotions that are tied with talking and being with someone are not important. That we can validate each other with the click of a mouse, or a response to an e-mail. I'm sorry for me, its not enough. I do maintain both, however the people who mean the most to me know it, because we take time for each other, we laugh, cry and talk in person, and our children will do the same. I think the world needs to check out in order to check in.

Can you?