Level 10 Gratitude

Tonight we celebrated my 42nd Birthday; a little dinner with Friends that BLEW my mind. 

I am so fortunate to have AMAZING people whom I truly love, love me back. I could not be the person I am without you. I do not take ANYTHING in my life for granted for one second and I know how Blessed I am. I hope that I am as good of a Friend too you as you all are to me. Your support, love, kindness, compassion and guidance is all I ever wish for and without a doubt, my cup runneth over... Now I can ugly cry:)

2014, Already honked my Horn

Resolutions are by definition the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict. Clearly when I stated to myself I wanted to HONK my horn less when driving means that I need OTHER people to assist me in order to ultimately be successful in reaching that goal. Dammit, FAIL. I should have known better in my Resolution Hunt 2014; now I've got to soul search for another meaningful arrangement and we haven't even hit double digits of the first month. Good news though, I still almost have an entire year to find the meaning of it all. If anything, change is good even a week and a half of kindness on the crazy literal roads of life. Travel Safe my fellow minions, it's HELL out there:)

The Mighty Elephant, The Donkey with a side of Green Eggs and Ham

I cannot think of a more appropriate representation of our Political Parties then those of the Elephant and the Donkey. The Elephant trumpeting its horn standing in its own shit while the stubborn Donkey hees and haws and holds its ground. While all around the Shit storm brewing  is being told with Rhyming words about eating pigs and what a chicken will lay. What the FUCK is our Government doing? How in the HELL can we explain this kind of crazy? Get TOO FUCKING GOVERNING!! I don't care WHAT your opinion IS, you WORK for U.S. Now I'm not the Koch Brothers, and I don't have a Park Avenue address. What I do have and WE ALL have is the freedom to color in a small little circle that can change EVERYTHING for YOU. Power after all is the same ideological falsity we ALL have sometimes when we think WE are more important then what we may Represent. Constituents are not made from the same small cloth you group us into. We are a demographic that is beyond the complexity of your understanding. We are the Grey in your black and white world and we DEMAND that you stop prancing around in OUR ZOO; I don't want your picture, ride you or feed you. What I want is what's BEST for WE The People, when did you FORGET about that? 

Desired Falsity

Corporate America one Dazzles with Foolery
It Monopolizes your Life
It's Benefits the Jewelry
It tests your True Character
It Challenges your Core
It turns you into Seeking Wealth at the cost of Wanting More
It turns you into a Competitor with it's Accolades and Awards
Printed up on cheap paper, it's the Dressed up Corporate Whore
It's offerings of Many, Bright Lights and Fancy Parties
Often followed with I'm working, I can't be there, I'm so sorry
It won't be there when you need it, that I know for sure
It's an all out Farce, covered up by sweet Allure.

To Our little Miss

As clear as day and as bright as the Sun

A sparkle and a glimmer and a Soul full of fun

Once so little, so small and meek

You were given to us with a future to seek

One filled with love, joy and laughter 

Our Fairytale of Truth, Our Happy Ever After

If Love overflows,We'll drown everyday

For you are the Flower given to us in May

We'll teach what we can

We'll do the best we know

We'll show you how to love by loving you so

A Happy House

If laughter and laundry don't bother you a bit
Then you get the big picture and won't have an inner fit
If you can UN-plan the plan and just let go
The you'll find yourself free off all the burdens we grow
If time isn't what ticks away
Then you understand what it means to stop and just play
If a hug can fulfill you, give them out they are free
You'll find yourself smile with love energy
We are all soulful beings and have this inner power
It's our light in the dark, don't wait for your final hour.

1 Year Anniversary

It was 1 Year ago today I was laying on a gurney in a Hospital prepared to die. I know how crazy that sounds, but I really did prepare myself. I left letters, spreadsheets and anything I thought could be a resource if I didn't. It's weird to find yourself in that place, it's uneasy and most of all you picture life going on without you in it. I tried so very hard to remain positive on the outside and I know my family did as well. For some of us it wasn't our first Rodeo..... I know what I've been through has changed me, mortality has been in the forefront. I live passionately, I love deeply and I try to be the person I most want to be seen as. I make mistakes, I apologize and most of all I don't leave things unsaid. I don't hold onto anger, I let go of resentment and I free myself of the burdens in which others may place on me. In the BIG picture I am so grateful too be. I cannot imagine living my life any other way  and I don't think I would want too. There are experiences that are hard, there are limits to overcome and with us much Grace as each of us have we try to conquer those. My sense of self and a little humor gets me through a lot. My opinions and my stance of what is wrong and right maybe a little skewed, however I am just like you, wanting love and validation and just time too be with the people I love the most, and that is what LIFE is all about. 

Little Man

How do explain how much you enriched my life. You were just a baby boy when we first met. You were the product of two people who crossed paths but were never meant to be, what was meant; you. I was honored too be part of your life, your growing up and even some of life's first. Your Birthday's, your school programs, your little adventures. I saw you learn too swim, learn to jump rope and I was part of something bigger than I could have ever imagined. 

Being part of your life has made me a better Mom. Our trips to the Zoo, Balboa Park and just hanging out and talking about what life has to offer you changed me. My dream for you has always been happiness & UN-conditional love;  With those success will follow. I hope this finds you and all your dreams for yourself come true. Remember you are special; and don't let what others think take a shot at who you were meant too be. Adversity is always followed by Triumph, and you little man can do ANYTHING:)

 

In- comprehensible

Is this the world in which we live in
We send our children to school to grow in
With faith that they are safe from harm
We let them go from our very arms
We allow them to be led by others 
In some way grant them to be Mothered
By Teachers who love them, and help them along
By Principles and Rules to help make them strong
We see the effect simply by their smiles
It's a life road their on each day another mile

That road ended yesterday for too many little souls
With so much to live for, so many dreams little ones hold
Princesses and superheros, cake and candy just ahead
Silenced by Evil in a moment of dread

This can't go without cause
We can't live in that world
These are all of our children, little boys and girls
This HAS to end,  it's far too much pain
We can't let their deaths just be something in vain
I don't have the answer but the conversation should start
We ALL need to play our roles in this Part.

 
 


 


 

 
 

Divided We Fall

Its been a 2 whole days since the Election and the one thing I know is that we are a Country divided. Prior to the Election, I like everyone else participated in the banter, the FB post, and the Parody's. I was sure who my Candidate was, most of us did. I think we all have an understanding that not ONE person is going to make EVERYONE happy, life just does not work that way. What I see that I find sad is the Bigotry, the Hatred, and the clear and utter Disgust for our Commander in Chief. We spew such negativity at each other and throw blame around like it's nothing; but it is EVERYTHING. Hate only becomes power when you share it, utter it and BE it. I empathize with the frustration, however in no way does that excuse any of it. For me what this says clearly is that we cannot expect anything different in the Leadership of this Country if we do not take responsibility and leadership for ourselves. I don't want this Country to fail, and I don't believe it will. What danger we expose ourselves too when HATE & BIGOTRY is out there, is the SAME ideals that COUNTRIES have been in wars for decades over; INTOLERANCE, I don't want want that for these United States of America, and you shouldn't either.