A Happy House

If laughter and laundry don't bother you a bit
Then you get the big picture and won't have an inner fit
If you can UN-plan the plan and just let go
The you'll find yourself free off all the burdens we grow
If time isn't what ticks away
Then you understand what it means to stop and just play
If a hug can fulfill you, give them out they are free
You'll find yourself smile with love energy
We are all soulful beings and have this inner power
It's our light in the dark, don't wait for your final hour.

1 Year Anniversary

It was 1 Year ago today I was laying on a gurney in a Hospital prepared to die. I know how crazy that sounds, but I really did prepare myself. I left letters, spreadsheets and anything I thought could be a resource if I didn't. It's weird to find yourself in that place, it's uneasy and most of all you picture life going on without you in it. I tried so very hard to remain positive on the outside and I know my family did as well. For some of us it wasn't our first Rodeo..... I know what I've been through has changed me, mortality has been in the forefront. I live passionately, I love deeply and I try to be the person I most want to be seen as. I make mistakes, I apologize and most of all I don't leave things unsaid. I don't hold onto anger, I let go of resentment and I free myself of the burdens in which others may place on me. In the BIG picture I am so grateful too be. I cannot imagine living my life any other way  and I don't think I would want too. There are experiences that are hard, there are limits to overcome and with us much Grace as each of us have we try to conquer those. My sense of self and a little humor gets me through a lot. My opinions and my stance of what is wrong and right maybe a little skewed, however I am just like you, wanting love and validation and just time too be with the people I love the most, and that is what LIFE is all about. 

Little Man

How do explain how much you enriched my life. You were just a baby boy when we first met. You were the product of two people who crossed paths but were never meant to be, what was meant; you. I was honored too be part of your life, your growing up and even some of life's first. Your Birthday's, your school programs, your little adventures. I saw you learn too swim, learn to jump rope and I was part of something bigger than I could have ever imagined. 

Being part of your life has made me a better Mom. Our trips to the Zoo, Balboa Park and just hanging out and talking about what life has to offer you changed me. My dream for you has always been happiness & UN-conditional love;  With those success will follow. I hope this finds you and all your dreams for yourself come true. Remember you are special; and don't let what others think take a shot at who you were meant too be. Adversity is always followed by Triumph, and you little man can do ANYTHING:)

 

In- comprehensible

Is this the world in which we live in
We send our children to school to grow in
With faith that they are safe from harm
We let them go from our very arms
We allow them to be led by others 
In some way grant them to be Mothered
By Teachers who love them, and help them along
By Principles and Rules to help make them strong
We see the effect simply by their smiles
It's a life road their on each day another mile

That road ended yesterday for too many little souls
With so much to live for, so many dreams little ones hold
Princesses and superheros, cake and candy just ahead
Silenced by Evil in a moment of dread

This can't go without cause
We can't live in that world
These are all of our children, little boys and girls
This HAS to end,  it's far too much pain
We can't let their deaths just be something in vain
I don't have the answer but the conversation should start
We ALL need to play our roles in this Part.

 
 


 


 

 
 

Divided We Fall

Its been a 2 whole days since the Election and the one thing I know is that we are a Country divided. Prior to the Election, I like everyone else participated in the banter, the FB post, and the Parody's. I was sure who my Candidate was, most of us did. I think we all have an understanding that not ONE person is going to make EVERYONE happy, life just does not work that way. What I see that I find sad is the Bigotry, the Hatred, and the clear and utter Disgust for our Commander in Chief. We spew such negativity at each other and throw blame around like it's nothing; but it is EVERYTHING. Hate only becomes power when you share it, utter it and BE it. I empathize with the frustration, however in no way does that excuse any of it. For me what this says clearly is that we cannot expect anything different in the Leadership of this Country if we do not take responsibility and leadership for ourselves. I don't want this Country to fail, and I don't believe it will. What danger we expose ourselves too when HATE & BIGOTRY is out there, is the SAME ideals that COUNTRIES have been in wars for decades over; INTOLERANCE, I don't want want that for these United States of America, and you shouldn't either.

Happy Anniversary

Time goes by so quick anymore
We've walked through so many of life's crazy doors
I've counted on you and you've never let me down
You've lifted me up when I've crumbled to the ground
You take my hand when you know it's tough
You let me falter even though it might be rough
Your willingness to love me is the best gift of ALL
Your the kind of Man little miss should have when she grows big and tall
I'll love you everyday my soul allows me too
I'm grateful for the love we share 
Here's to me and you.

 

Religion V. Love

I'm not quite sure why people interpret "words" from a BOOK to fuel Hate, In-Tolerance & Bigotry. I understand the Freedom to express it, but wonder why when it comes from a place that is dark.

I believe that "God is Love," the basic principal is we are Soulful Beings having a Human experience. If we stop and be present within our own Being the simple truth is we ALL want LOVE. 

Love is the most powerful emotion and why would you deny that from another Soulful Being? I think what Religion has done is allowed our Human insecurities and faults be answered with words we are unable find on our own. Are natural HUMAN instinct is to look for outside validation. The truth is we are good enough on our own. The search is never outside of yourself; for LOVE & Acceptance starts within. When you find that your steps in LIFE are aligned with the steps of your SOUL, hate NEVER stands a chance.

Are you trying to scare me!?

In order to protect all parties involved

This girl takes to writing this mystery to solve

It's sent and forwarded for perhaps all too see

But protected how well, who knows only me

It's about being smart, and knowing the next play

It's about seeing the truth instead trying to scare me away

I'll tell you what you want, as long as you do to

Like that's going to happen, your Corporate world is a Zoo

You manage like a keeper, dominate and bully

This girl knows it's Abracadabra Big Business Bull Foolery

 

The rule of Karma as I see it...

Karma, we all love to see it play out. The truth is that it is rare. The idea that what you place out in the world comes back to you OR will get someone in the end just has to be all in the idea of Faith. It's hard to let go of the ideals of what we expect of others and even of ourselves. Karma often is my go to place. It's my own Faith that energy does work that way and I want to be aware of what kind of energy I place out in the world. Now I'm not saying I don't have my moments.... believe me quiet and meek has never been my strong suit. I am however self aware enough to apologize when I am wrong and let go of anger when I know I should. I do want the World to be a better place for my little miss, but I realize it starts with me. Changing your thinking is about changing the way you think. It's your own power that by making a few adjustments can change your life. It's about being willing to be wrong, being willing to work on making things right and about knowing when to do so. It's the power within and having faith in Karma.

My Crazy Truth

As time goes by and I am still recovering from my 3rd open heart; I have been holding on to the tangible truth in which I feel is something to share. I know most of all that if I did not have this one thing, my family would have NOTHING. That is insurance; in the amount of 7 days so far my "Heart," has racked up bills in the amount of @ 187,090.81. That is a little more than $26K per day, and around $ 1200.00 per hour. Now insurance will cover MOST of that but our family will max the out of pocket expense for the year. The Crazy thing is, I am UN-insurable on my own. I am the little box on the form that when checked could cost our family all we have worked to build together. It simply is wrong. No one will ever get through life without NOT going to the Dr. NO one should have too. We have it wrong in this country that a "Benefit" is health care. It should be our right. This is just simply my crazy truth and will be until the day I leave this earth. Perhaps it's a thought when you make your decision based upon a little tax increase for you, that the effect will be felt throughout this Country. It's opening up your mind to see that it is "We the People" and not I.